4 reasons why “birthing person” is an inclusive term to use in your birthing practice

Studying the history of childbirth is an opportunity to recognize the great strides for women's rights made by feminists of the past. In light of struggles to reclaim bodily autonomy and to highlight inequity and discrimination that still persists today, one could understand how the relatively new trend towards calling for gender inclusive terms like birthing person in midwifery and childbirth education could be confusing. Trans-exclusionary radical feminists, as they're known today in many corners of the internet, go so far as to say that using inclusive language in birth erases what women have achieved, threatening to set us back again. Here's why this is untrue, how our approach at HelloBirth expands access to high-quality birth education, and is inclusive of more women and more family structures, not fewer.

Using birthing person or birth giver for general audiences assumes less and includes more

We can't and won't always "get it right" by the way someone appears, nor should we. Humans are complex and cannot be reduced to mere biology. There is an entire history, gene panel and symphony of hormones hidden from our consciousness and it's OK to not always understand it. Introducing yourself with your pronouns is very simple and easy in virtual meetings and just takes a little extra practice when you meet in person.

The limitations of the English language in that "they" is plural makes things a little awkward at times. But in the absence of an alternative, just remember that it works well in most cases. Think about an unclaimed item sitting at the corner of the room. You're leading a class and you announce to your participants, "Whoever left their backpack over there should come pick it up before we leave for lunch." This is gender-neutral and you may not have realized it! We can adopt this simple practice as we're getting to know our clients in childbirth classes or doula meetings.

Inclusive birth language recognizes more family structures

From time to time you will work with pregnant clients whose partners are also biologically capable of pregnancy and giving birth. In these instances, using birth-giver, birthing parent, and baby-feeding parent acknowledges the possibility that the co-parent may one day become the birthing parent and/or the primary baby-feeding parent. Two co-parents in this case might be a lesbian couple or a queer couple where one or both people are trans. Since gender identity, gender expression, and sexuality are all separate aspects of a person's humanity, it just makes good sense to acknowledge these nuances in a way that allows more individuals to experience the benefits of a mainstream (for lack of a better term) childbirth class, if they so choose.

They might also choose a childbirth class taught specifically by and for LGBTQIA people, which is of course a great choice. Make sure you refer to these educators and doulas and support their work as well!

Furthermore, these practices include families who have used a surrogate and also helps to ease some of the discomfort that may be experienced by families who used assisted reproductive technology to grow their families. Families come in all shapes and sizes. Remember not to assume how someone became pregnant and be mindful of phrases like, "what got the baby in, gets the baby out," when that's not universally true, even for some straight couples!

Adopt the birth language that feels most comfortable for your client

As you become more acquainted with your clients, please use the language that fits them! Some of our clients will love and benefit from being referred to as mama. Others will find it very uncomfortable, especially if it's their first pregnancy and they don't really know how they feel yet about becoming a mother.

We recommend using people's first names as often as possible if in doubt about how they might be feeling. It is simultaneously true that mothers and fathers and the roles they embody are beautiful and to be celebrated, and that people who prefer more of a gender neutral approach, either because it's important to them to smash gender stereotypes, or because their gender identity is different from their sex, also deserve to be understood and included. So the bottom line here is that you don't need to erase language or identities in order to adopt more gender-inclusive birth language.

Gender-neutral maternity care is possible

There are some clinical terms that are certainly more difficult to find alternatives for, but it's still possible. And the point is, we're trying and we're thinking about it. Challenge yourself! For example, instead of maternity care you could say prenatal care or instead of maternal outcomes you could say birthing parent outcomes.

Breastfeeding and chest-feeding should still be used, but baby-feeding becomes a useful, inclusive term that encompasses the fact that many parents choose a combination of milk types and feeding methods to nourish their child: formula, human milk, body feeding and bottle feeding. We dedicate this post to all of the badass birth-givers and baby-feeders all over the world. Your care and compassion for the next generation of humans is inspiring. We support you!