How to find your doula match
So you've decided to hire a doula! How do you find your doula match? We've got a simple formula.
You might have been looking for suggested questions to ask your doula or how to know if you've found a good doula match. For instance, if you have taken a particular approach to preparing for birth such as hypnobirthing, does your doula need to know that program well? Or if you have a particular circumstance, like preparing for a VBAC (vaginal birth after Cesarean), or if you want to have a water birth, do you need a specific doula match for that?
The doula match decision is truly yours to make... but... we say nope! Experience is secondary. Here's why.
To be a good match for you, a doula should be a presence that puts you at ease. Their ability to do so comes in many forms. That's why you are the one who's qualified to decide who's the best match.
Does their personality put you at ease?
Maybe for you this means they go to their sense of humor to lighten the mood. Maybe it means they have a calming voice or they're a good listener. Or maybe they offer their knowledge in a way that's really easy to understand. Whatever their personality traits, think about who feels most comforting to be around when you are going through a challenging time. That's who you want as your doula.
What doula training do they have?
At HelloBirth, we believe in training excellence which means theoretically every trained doula would be ready after their training to support you. But some trainings are more in-depth than others. You don't actually need a "big name" doula training such as DONA or CAPPA to indicate whether someone is ready to be a doula. You need a training that provides a solid foundation of knowledge as well as continued mentorship as they are getting started. This is what makes Doula Trainings International a recommended choice, but there are other good options as well. Ask the doula to share a little about what their training was like and what kind of support they are receiving from their training organization.
What experience do they have?
You might be wondering whether the number of births attended or the years of experience a doula has automatically qualifies them for the job. Or whether they've experienced birth themselves as a parent would be a necessary trait in choosing a doula match. Well, again, we believe that experience is secondary to personality and solid training. But if experience level is important to you, go for it! Ask away. If your doula doesn't have much experience or is newer to the field, try not to automatically disqualify them from the running. Take a little time to get to know them by asking them to share more about themselves and what brought them to this work. In talking with them, you just might find they're the perfect doula match for you!
What other considerations are there when looking for a doula match?
This relates to everything mentioned above, but there may be more specific knowledge or experience you'd like your doula to have. What's nice about all doulas, no matter who they are, is that they are happy to support your process of learning something new, and are willing to do some of the research to help you sort through your options.
What skills should they have and what knowledge is helpful?
It would be a bonus if your doula is a hypno doula, for example, if you've taken a hypnobirthing class, or if your doula knows the best place in your town to have a water birth if you're hoping to use a birthing tub for your delivery. But if you're looking for these things and your doula doesn't have that particular experience, ask if your doula would be willing to learn a bit more along with you. What's their response? Do they have a preconceived opinion about X Y or Z, or are they willing to roll up their sleeves and dive in? Hint: The doula who rolls up their sleeves is the best doula match!
Are they a strong match for supporting your partner?
If you have a spouse or other partners or family members you would like to be involved in your birth, a great doula match will be skilled at working with everyone as a team and helping them to feel confident in their roles. A great doula can make suggestions for every member on your team to help clarify how you can have the most supported experience possible.
If you're getting a sense that finding the best doula match is pretty simple, you're right!
Here are some unconventional questions to ask in a doula interview that may help you get the best sense as to whether they'll be a good doula match for you:
- Tell me about your work as a doula. What do you love about it?
- When someone you care about is in distress, how do you tend to help them?
- If you see someone in distress on the side of the road or in a park, what's usually your response?
- When you feel anxious, what are your best tips for staying calm?
- What does it mean to you to have a good birth?
- What books about birth do you recommend?
Hopefully these get the ball rolling for you in terms of the informal nature of doula work. Of course you might prefer a doula who's more formal and that is totally fine as well! Again, it all depends on their personality and yours. Now for a little more on the practical side of finding a doula match...
Where do I look for a doula?
In pandemic times (groan), doulas quickly learned how to offer virtual support. So what that means is that you could conduct a national search for your doula and work with any doula in the world for virtual support! However, that broad of a search might be just a bit overwhelming. So here are just a few practical ways to find your doula match:
- Do you know anyone who used a doula for their birth? Ask for a referral and find out what they loved about working with them.
- Do a simple Google search for "doula [my city]" and see what comes up. If you turn up the names of doula agencies in your city, you'll instantly have about 10 or more doulas to choose from, and the administrator of the company will be more than happy to recommend a doula match for you or you can tell them which doulas you're interested in meeting. But you might also prefer to hire someone who has a solo practice. These doulas tend to take on fewer clients per month (though not always).
- Utilize DoulaMatch.net. You can search the directory and anyone who has paid for a listing there will show up by location. You can also learn a little about them by checking out the listings.
- Active members of Doula Trainings International (DTI) are included in the DTI Expert directory. So that's another great way to find a doula match who you know has taken part in a thorough training.
Anything else I should know as I look for the best doula match for me?
One really important detail that comes to mind is that once you start to reach out to doulas to inquire about their services, pay attention to how they answer your inquiry. Do they get back with you quickly and professionally? This is a big clue as to how they will show up for you on your big day! It's also a good marker of either a high-quality training, or years of self-taught experience. Which brings me to one last point: how much is the doula's fee? You might believe that shopping for a low-cost option is the best route, as we're all a bit strapped for cash these days. However, try looking for a doula match or practice that offers either a sliding scale or a scholarship program. Why is this important? It indicates the doula or group of doulas are well-compensated while also working to meet the varying needs within a community. It demonstrates an understanding of health disparities in birth while also making sure their own cups are full so that they can be the very best doula match possible for their clients.
Has this post about finding a doula match been helpful for you? We hope so! If you're also looking for comprehensive childbirth education, check out the HelloBirth class outline to see if it could be a good fit for you or download our free affirmations. We will soon be very busy training instructors and hypno doulas to support your HelloBirth techniques!