4 reasons why “birthing person” is an inclusive term to use in your birthing practice
When we first created the HelloBirth hypnobirthing concept and began crafting our content and curriculum design, one of the issues at the forefront of our minds was how exclusive the "birth world" can feel to a lot of under-represented people. We were even told by previous organizations we had been teaching for that the survey responses they sent out didn't show large numbers of people asking for language shifts. But did show a significant number saying they did not want any changes made. Basically: "You can't please everybody, so we're not going to try." Another way of saying this is, "Small numbers of people and their specific needs don't matter to us."
But for us, it's not about pleasing people. It's about doing what's right.
We set out to address this within every layer of our program, starting with mindset, flowing into content creation, and back out into the community with the future instructors we wanted to bring in. We based this approach on historical context and how that relates to today's challenges.
Studying the history of childbirth is an opportunity to recognize the great strides for women's rights made by feminists of the past. In light of struggles to reclaim bodily autonomy and to highlight inequity and discrimination that still persists today, one could understand how the relatively new trend towards calling for gender inclusive terms like "birthing person" in midwifery and childbirth education could be confusing or even off-putting.
Trans-exclusionary radical feminists as they're known today in many corners of the internet, go so far as to say that using inclusive language in birth erases what women have achieved, threatening to set us back again.
Here is some supporting information on why this is not true, how our approach at HelloBirth expands access to high-quality birth education, and is inclusive of more women and more family structures, not fewer.
#1: Using birthing person or birth giver for general audiences assumes less and creates more space for others
We can't and won't always "get it right" by the way someone appears, nor should we. Humans are complex and cannot be reduced to mere biology. There is an entire history, gene panel and symphony of hormones hidden from our consciousness and it's OK to not always understand it. Introducing yourself with your pronouns is very simple and easy in virtual meetings and just takes a little extra practice when you meet in person.
The limitations of the English language in that "they" is plural makes things a little awkward at times. But in the absence of an alternative, just remember that it works well in most cases. Think about an unclaimed item sitting at the corner of the room. You're leading a class and you announce to your participants, "Whoever left their backpack over there should come pick it up before we leave for lunch." This is gender-neutral and you may not have realized it! We can adopt this simple practice as we're getting to know our clients in childbirth classes or doula meetings.
#2: Inclusive birth language recognizes more family structures
From time to time you will work with pregnant clients whose partners are also biologically capable of pregnancy and giving birth. In these instances, using birth-giver, birthing parent, and baby-feeding parent acknowledges the possibility that the co-parent may one day become the birthing parent and/or the primary baby-feeding parent. Two co-parents in this case might be a lesbian couple or a queer couple where one or both people are trans. Since gender identity, gender expression, and sexuality are all separate aspects of a person's humanity, it just makes good sense to acknowledge these nuances in a way that allows more individuals to experience the benefits of a mainstream (for lack of a better term) childbirth class, if they so choose.
They might also choose a childbirth class taught specifically by and for LGBTQIA people, which is of course a great choice. Make sure you refer to these educators and doulas and support their work as well!
Furthermore, these practices include families who have used a surrogate and also helps to ease some of the discomfort that may be experienced by families who used assisted reproductive technology to grow their families. Families come in all shapes and sizes. Remember not to assume how someone became pregnant and be mindful of phrases like, "what got the baby in, gets the baby out," when that's not universally true, even for some straight couples!
#3: You have the freedom to use the birth language that feels most comfortable for your client
As you become more acquainted with your clients, please use the language that fits them! Some of our clients will love and benefit from being referred to as mama. Others will find it very uncomfortable, especially if it's their first pregnancy and they don't really know how they feel yet about becoming a mother.
We recommend using people's first names as often as possible if in doubt about how they might be feeling. It is simultaneously true that mothers and fathers and the roles they embody are beautiful and to be celebrated, and that people who prefer more of a gender neutral approach, either because it's important to them to smash gender stereotypes, or because their gender identity is different from their sex, also deserve to be understood and included. So the bottom line here is that you don't need to erase language or identities in order to adopt more gender-inclusive birth language.
#4: Gender-neutral maternity care is possible
There are some clinical terms that are certainly more difficult to find alternatives for, but it's still possible. And the point is, we're trying and we're thinking about it. Challenge yourself! For example, instead of maternity care you could say prenatal care or instead of maternal outcomes you could say birthing parent outcomes.
Breastfeeding and chest-feeding should still be used, but baby-feeding becomes a useful, inclusive term that encompasses the fact that many parents choose a combination of milk types and feeding methods to nourish their child: formula, human milk, body feeding and bottle feeding. We dedicate this post to all of the badass birth-givers and baby-feeders all over the world. Your care and compassion for the next generation of humans is inspiring. We support you!
FAQs About Teaching Birth Classes Using 'Birthing Person'
1. What if I never have any transgender people in my classes? Will I end up offending the majority of my students?
When you use the HelloBirth materials to teach from, we can promise you that the language will feel incredibly natural. It's not like we came in so heavy handed that we plastered birthing person in bright yellow text all over the place.
As a matter of fact, we really took the time to think about the softness and the ease with which we wanted this information to feel, for the most feminine person among us to the most masculine. This is an approach that helps to include our "typical Dads" as well.
2. What if I negatively affect someone's birth experience?
Oh goodness, that's the opposite of what we're after here. If you have a student come to you who is looking for exclusively feminine and gendered language throughout all of their books and life experiences, you'll want to be honest with them that your class might not be the best fit.
We also feel that it's super important to help build resiliency for our students. This is why we introduce the concept of a special Comforting Place, where each person can travel to in their minds when they need to experience a buffer between them and a stressful circumstance.
If you're still struggling with this question, we'd suggest re-reading the meat of this post, sitting with it awhile, and thinking about what is making you nervous or uncomfortable.
How is this landing for you? Send us an email and let us know! info at hellobirthclass dot com